We all know that the foundation of any healthy relationship is trust. Without trust, it’s impossible to care for and completely love your significant other. Even the little white lies you tell can turn into big ones, and before you know it, you’ll start feeling uncomfortable telling the truth altogether.
If you’re trying to protect your sweetheart’s feelings by saying you like their outfit, that probably won’t be a big deal in the long run. But when you start lying here and there about other things, you can cause some serious problems. Here are 10 small lies that can destroy even the strongest marriage:
- “I want/don’t want kids”
When you’re dating and first married, be open and honest about whether you want kids. If you don’t want them but lie and say you do, your spouse will be heartbroken later down the road when they want kids and you don’t.
- “I’m not in any debt”
You should never lie to your spouse about your financial situation. If you’re in debt, they need to know. And if they’re aware of what’s going on, they can even help you get out of it. Being honest about finances can be hard sometimes, but it’s so important.
- “I LOVE your favorite … “
Don’t lie and say you love the things your spouse loves if you don’t. It’s normal for individuals in new relationships to give in to doing activities they don’t enjoy just to be with their partner, but that willingness wears off after you’ve been together for a while. If you absolutely hate camping but your partner lives for it, that’s something you need to be honest about.
- “I don’t talk to my ex anymore”
If you still talk to your ex, your spouse should know. They trust that you won’t cheat, but if you lie about talking to an ex, it seems suspicious and can cause some serious trust issues.
- “Everything’s fine”
As humans, our first response when someone asks if we’re OK is to say “I’m fine” or “everything’s fine.” When you’re not OK, you should tell your spouse. They can help you get through whatever it is you’re dealing with, and they’ll be more aware of when to help you in the future.
- “I’m not happy and it’s your fault”
If you’re unhappy in your relationship, it’s most likely not your spouse’s fault. Taking your upset feelings out on your spouse can cause unnecessary tension in your relationship, so don’t do it. Figure out exactly why you’re mad, then talk through it with your partner.
- “I don’t have another email address”
Your spouse should know about all of your social media channels and email addresses. Keeping them a secret and lying about them will crush your spouse’s trust, and it’ll be hard to get back.
- “I don’t care”
Sometimes it’s necessary to say you don’t care and let your spouse get their way. But if you’re passionate about something, don’t lie and say you don’t care about it. If you say you don’t care enough times, your voice will never be heard and you’ll end up resenting your spouse for it. It’s better to speak up when you have the chance.
- “I’m not struggling with … “
You definitely shouldn’t lie about your struggles and addictions. If you’re addicted to alcohol, pornography, drugs or other harmful things, your spouse deserves to know. They’ll most likely help you through it, but if you don’t tell them, they’ll end up being hurt beyond repair because of your actions.
- “I married the wrong person”
Never tell yourself or anyone else you married the wrong person, because you didn’t. You married an imperfect person, and sometimes they’ll be hard to love. But your partner is the “right” person, and you can build your marriage into something amazing when you get out of this mindset.
The most important thing you can do is to be honest with your spouse. A relationship built on a foundation of trust is an incredible thing, and being honest is always the best option.