Last summer my mother stumbled upon an article during a particularly hard and confusing time for me, in hopes that it would help me clear my head and figure things out. This article written by Kate Rose from Elephant Journal explains a theory of how in our lifetimes we fall in love three different times, a concept at the time I did not understand.
How could you fall in love three different times?
I thought there was one person you loved forever and that was it, but then diving deeper into this article and giving things a little more time to develop I began to understand.
- Your first love.
Your first love is said to be when you’re younger, the love that everyone else told us was right. It probably doesn’t feel right, but we shoved that feeling down because we told ourselves this is what love is. This is the love that looks right.
- The hard love.
Your second love is the hard love. The one that teaches you lessons about yourself and reveals things to you that you never knew. This is the love that hurts, the love that cycles in hopes it’ll get better the next go around, the love that we tell ourselves that it’s not worth anything if we aren’t fighting for it just to convince ourselves we aren’t wasting our time.
This love that has its major highs and lows and you find yourself staying through those lows with the hopes of those highs. This love becomes such an up and down; we lose ourselves trying to make it work rather than taking a step back and realizing that maybe it never will. This is the love we wished was right.