Marriage is a HUGE deal, and sometimes little quirks and personality traits come out only after you’ve been married and living together for a little while. You can usually deal with these things, like if your spouse opens every cabinet then leaves them open (true story).
But in all seriousness, there are certain things you really should know about your significant other before you decide to tie the knot. Knowing about the important things will save you from a lot of hardship and heartbreak later on in your life and marriage.
- Know their financial situation
You shouldn’t jump into a marriage without knowing your future spouse’s current financial situation. If they’re hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt and you had no idea, it wouldn’t be a great thing to find out after you’re married. Be open and honest about finances and work together to budget.
- Know their thoughts and feelings about having kids
Make sure you know your sweetheart’s feelings about having children. If they’ve always dreamed of having ten kids and you cringe whenever you hear a toddler scream, you might have a problem on your hands. It’s possible that one of you will change your mind, but don’t count on it.
- Know their health history
It’s important that you know what kind of health history your partner’s family has. This might not make or break your relationship, but it’s good to know if your partner or your future children are prone to any health issues.
- Know if they have a pornography habit
Pornography is hard on relationships, and it’s such an important thing to talk about before you get married. Make sure you’re open and honest about it, and you can help each other work through any problems or addictions you might have.
- Know how they celebrate
I can’t stress this enough – if one of you loves birthday parties and surprises and the other would prefer a quiet dinner with close family, you should know about it. It might seem silly to have a serious discussions about birthdays and celebrations, but it’s important.
- Know how they were disciplined as a child
More often than not, people use similar parenting tactics on their children as their parents used on them. If you hate the way your partner’s parents dealt with discipline, make sure you talk about it. Set clear boundaries for discipline when you have your own family someday.
- Know what their expectations are
You can’t read your sweetheart’s mind, so ask what they expect of you. You’ll fall short sometimes, but it’s better to have some basic expectations to gauge yourself. However, you shouldn’t expect too much, or your marriage will suffer.
- Know their love language
Know how your partner loves to feel loved. Do they need physical touch? Or maybe quality time means the most to them? If you know how you each feel loved and act on it, you’ll have an overall happier marriage and life.
- Know if they’ve ever abused or been abused
Abuse is a huge deal, and it can have major psychological effects. Have this discussion if you haven’t already. Knowing your sweetheart’s past can help you better understand them if future problems arise.
- Know their political stance
With all the political drama going on in the world, it’s important to know where your partner stands with all of it. It most likely won’t be an issue, but if you both feel extremely passionate on opposite ends, it might end up being a serious point of contention.
- Know their core values
Know what your sweetheart cares about. When you know what their core values are, you know what they feel strongly about and you can understand them better. However, if your values are completely opposite from each other, it could be a problem you should overcome before you tie the knot.
- Know how involved they are with their family
If your future spouse is going to spend more time at their parent’s house than at yours, that’s something you need to know about and address if it’s going to be an issue. There’s nothing wrong with being close to family. It’s actually really great! But knowing just how close they are can save you from future arguments and contention.
- Know why they want to marry you
Do you know why your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to marry you? If you don’t, you should ask. If you don’t like their answer or if it doesn’t feel right, you should seriously address the issue.